it breaks my heart to run over you in a bus but
by CrumbleViolet
Summary: Well... Chapter 8 up... extreemly random comedy... you'll love it... the gilmore girls get thrown into prison. Escape. And are now in Vegas getting married.
1. Death Becomes him twice

Title: Marriage  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the bus and the storyline  
  
A.N: This is my very very short fic about Gilmore Girls (which is on tonight BTW)  
  
"Sorry, I don't like you anymore. I thought I loved you but now I have found someone else I love" Dean tried to put Rory down gently.  
  
"I think we should see other people" Max tried to pit Lorelai down gently.  
"But, we're getting married tomorrow!!" Lorelai looked stunned  
"Yeah, about that...um, i dont want to marry you anymore, I love someone else and I am going to marry them tomorrow"  
"Cow!" Lorelai exclaimed and she slapped Max very hard on the face  
"I suppose I deserved that" Max sulked away  
  
"But I love you Dean!" Rory tried to reason with him  
"I'm sorry Rory but I love someone else, someone special to me. I'm getting married to them tomorrow, do u want to come to the wedding"  
"Get lost!"   
  
Rory ran down the lane and met Lorelai at Luke's.  
"What do u want?" Luke came over and asked them at the table  
"A shotgun and two bullets" Lorelai suggested.  
Luke laughed, before noticing she was serious.  
"Whats wrong girls?" He asked as he sat down with them  
"Max is getting married" Lorelai sobbed  
"Dean is getting married" Rory sobbed.  
The pair shared a quizzical glance before both saying  
"Their getting married to each other!"  
  
After about 2 hours of crying and 3 hours of murder plans they finally had a plan  
"Okay lets go" Luke suggested  
  
"I know pronounce you Husbands, you may now kiss each other" The priest said  
Dean and Max leaned in to kiss each other but were distracted my a loud bus noise coming from behind them. They whizzed around and saw a huge bus heading straight for them. Inside the bus they saw Lorelai driving, Rory standing next to her and Luke standing at the door.   
  
3 seconds later they were dead. Lorelai was spending eternity in jail with Luke, and Rory was sent to a Childrens Detention centre. Everyone was happy though. (except for the dead guys). 


	2. Roadtrip out of there

"This Jail is getting Stale" Lorelai sang as she banged her cup against the jail bars "I wanna go home! I miss Rory"  
"Quiet in there" yelled a guard from down the hall.   
Luke was pacing up and down in the cell he was sharing with Lorelai.  
"Lets get out of here" he said in a manner of fact tone  
"Okay, you got a plan?"  
"As a matter of fact, I do"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"What are you doing in here Paris" Rory exclaimed as she noticed a familure face sharing her cell  
"Oh! How did you know I was here? Did you come to pay my bail?"  
"Um...No im just in here because...um...well...me Mum and Luke..."  
"Mum, Luke and I" Paris corrected her  
"Mum, Luke and I killed Mr Madena and Dean. Why are you here?"  
"I was stalking Tristan, I've only got 4 days left though"  
"Lucky. I'm here forever"  
"Yeah well, neither of us will get into Harvard now"  
"Yeah, hey can u help me break out?"  
"How?..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
4 days later Luke and Lorelai were out of jail, how you ask? Well it was a highly skilled person who thought up the plan, they said they were the Olsen Twins and had to go and film a new movie. Anyway it worked and they 'borrowed' a car and went to pick up Rory.  
As they approached the Detention Centre they noticed two hitchikers standing by the side of the road  
"Oh Hitchhikers! Can we pick them up Luke? Please!"  
"Fine then" Luke said through gritted teeth  
Luke pulled over and Lorelai hopped out of the car  
"You want a lift?" she asked  
"Mum!" Rory exclaimed   
"Rory? Is that you?" Lorelai was dumbstruck, she thought her child would be inside the Centre not outside. They hugged, yadda yadda yadda, sob sob sob, blah blah blah.   
"Paris?" Lorelai asked giving her attention to the other figure at the scene  
"Um...hi" Paris mumbled  
"Long story mum, but we gotta go..." Rory interrupted "You know, being chased by the law and such"  
"Okay,everyone in the car"  
Lorelai, Rory and Paris climbed into the car and Luke started the engine  
"Any requests?" Lorelai asked as she turned on the radio  
"Oh...that song...um...whats it called?" Rory stumbled  
"S Club Party?" Paris asked expectantly  
"No, not that one...Oh the Wiggles! Dorothy the Dinosaur"  
"Gotcha" Lorelai pushed in the tape and the whole car started singing  
"Dorothy the Dinosaur! La la la la"  
"Where are we going Luke?" Rory asked the driver  
"Vegas" he said  
  
The whole car cheered  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AN: More to come! In next ep...They go to vegas and meet some more interesting people there...  
  
"borrowed" was something to do with ure name Joy, hope u dont mind...i couldnt say ride could i... 


	3. Vegas Vacation and a Big Question

About a week later, somehow they made it to Vegas.  
  
"I'm about to fall aslee.....zzzzzzzz" Lorelai whinged  
"Ohhhhhh look!" Paris exclaimed  
Lorelai woke suddenly at the sound of her voice  
"Ahhh, no sleep in 3 days" she cried "How could you wake me?"  
"but look mum" Rory joined in "We're here"  
"Ahhhh! Neon lights" Lorelai winced "I'm sorry but I need my sleep"  
Luke pulled into a building with a Neon Cowboy out the front  
"You can sleep in here Lorelai. They shouldn't be able to find us for a while"  
"For a while?!" Rory and Paris asked in unison  
  
The four climbed out of the car and checked into the hotel. They were making their way up to their room when they noticed the pokies.  
  
"Ohhh Poker!" Lorelai exclaimed, wide awake now  
"Not now Mum!" Rory tried to reason with her "You can play in the morning"  
"Party Pooper" Lorelai complained as she was ushered into the elevator.   
Rory pushed the button for level 12 and the doors closed.   
The Elevator stopped on level 10 and guess who got in.  
"Tristan?!" Rory and Paris exclaimed together  
"Ahhhhhh!" Tristan screamed like a girl and ran back round the corner and to his room.   
Lorelai and Luke were doubling over with laughter  
"Did you see him?" Lorelai giggled  
"Yeah, he screamed like a girl" Luke replied  
Rory and Paris just stood there like shocked donkeys wondering how Tristan followed them to Vegas. Of course he followed them, it could not have been a coincidence.   
The elevator closed and Lorelai and Luke were still having hysterics when they gave the girls their room key.   
"You guys are in Room 10 and we're in Room 12" Luke explained.  
Rory gave her mum a 'sharing a room with lukey are you' look before she went to her own room  
  
AN: Lorelai and Lukey story for a little while  
  
Luke opened the door to their room. It was really nice, big and, much to Lorelai's delight, not a flower in sight (too many memories from the Cheshire cat). But there was a problem, only one bed.   
"Dammit" Luke punched a wall,   
"Hey, I dont smell that much" Lorelai joked  
"Lets get married?" Luke asked Lorelai  
"What? Wait! Repeat that question!" Lorelai gasped  
Luke kneeled down on the floor as to pick something up from it but instead he took Lorelai's hand  
"Lorelai, You have been in my life for a very long time, and that means a great amount to me. I know we fight, but I also know that when Sookie told me that you were not getting married to Max something inside me jumped. I know I said marriage was bad but I didn't mean it. Please..." he took a deap breath "Will you marry me?"   
  
AN: He he he, cliffhanger.........will she say yes? Will she say no? You'll have to wait and see, won't you! he he he *evil cackle*. 


	4. A little more funny stuf

Disclaimer: I do not write Gilmore Girls 4 tv and i own nothing except the neon cowboy but if u touch my storylines i will lasoo u like there's no tomorrow!!!  
  
"Luke!" Lorelai exclaimed "I am not ready for marriage, and although i really really really really like you, i dont wanna marry you just yet"  
Luke looked hurt and just stared at his shoes for a couple of minutes, until he said  
"How 'bout we settle this on a coin toss? You call and If I win we get married and if you win..."  
"You are never allowed to get between me and coffee ever again"  
"Deal"  
"Deal"  
The pair shook hands and Luke took a coin out of his pocket  
"Tails" Lorelai guessed when the coin was in the air. The pair looked down on it...  
  
_______________________________________________________  
  
  
Rory and Paris opened the door to their room and looked in  
"Its very... um... white" Rory stammered looking around at the horribly sterile walls  
"I like it" Paris walked over and plopped onto the bed as Rory gave her a doubtful glance  
"I've got an idea" Paris yelled, jumping up, grabbing Rory by the hand and dragging her out of the room  
"Where are you taking me?" Rory screamed back  
"You'll see"  
The pair of giggling girls ran into the lift and Paris pushed the button for level 10  
"We're going to find Tristan" she said  
  
AN: Im sorry it's so short but im getting stuck, do u want Luke'n'Loralai to get together? Should it be heads or tails? Place a vote in ure reviews.  
  
And Im not posting anymore until i get 30+ reviews. I really really want a second page of reviews, it would make me very happy *blinks eyelids rapidly*. 


	5. Paris? Stalking? Of course not! he he he

Disclaimer: I am but a lonely peasant who owns nothing but the shirt on my back... wait, i found this in the bin last week...  
  
AN: I am so sorry it took so long!!!! Really I am!!!!!!  
  
The numbers on the elevator ticked down slowly. Paris was smoothing over her hair in the mirror and Rory was watching her doubtfully.   
"You've got a bump Paris" Rory pointed to the top of her friends head  
"Oh no! Do I?" Paris turned in circles trying to look at where Rory pointed.  
"Im just kidding" Rory laughed "Why don't you calm down a bit, It's just Tristan"  
"Just Tristan?" Paris exclaimed "He is only the most popular guy in school..."  
"Was" Rory interrupted "He doesn't go to school with us anymore"  
"But still"  
Paris finished touching up her hair and immediately started fiddling with the corner of her shirt  
"You still like him don't you" Rory observed  
"I absolutely do not!" Paris denied, looking at her feet "He's a spoilt rich kid... He's not even that cute... I mean he's got this bad boy thing going..."   
Paris kept talking unaware that the lift had stopped, the doors had opened and Tristan was standing right behind her"  
"...he could do with a haircut as well...  
"Uh...Paris" Rory intereuped  
"Yeah what?" Paris spun round and looked up, her face going a bright shad of purple when she spied Tristan  
"Didn't know I made such an impression" Tristan smirked  
"Uhhhh..." Paris was lost for words for once in her life, she just looked at her shoelaces  
"Don't worry Paris, I get worse compliments at school" Tristan sighed  
"You didn't at our school" Rory chimed in  
"Yeah well, I don't go there anymore do I?"   
There was a awkwed silence in which everyone just looked at each other. Tristan finally broke it  
"We're you guys looking for me?"  
Paris didn't know what to say "Um... well..." she mumbled  
Rory decided to save her "Yeah. We saw you earlier and decided to say hi. You here with anyone?"  
"Yeah I got a couple of blondes in the back" Tristan joked pointing to the room door behind him.  
Paris and Rory both looked shocked.  
"I'm kidding" Tristan explained  
Rory let out a breath she didnt know she'd been holding in  
"You think I'd do that do you?" Tristan put a upset look on his face  
"I wouldn't put anything past Tristan Dugrey" Rory snickered  
Paris watched the two engage in their childish banter, wanting no part of it.  
"Would you believe I have changed for the better since I moved from Chilton?"  
"No. You still seem like the egotistical jerk I knew before"  
"Ouch, that hurt Mary" Tristan pretended to cry looking at the ground  
Rory smiled. Even if Tristan was a jerk most of the time she missed arguing with that jerk every morning.  
Tristan looked up again, Rory was smiling at him, he smiled back, his gaze moved from Rory to Paris. She was looking at him like he had her English notes and wasn't going to give them back  
"Damn Paris" he thought "If she wasn't here I could make a move on Rory"  
The elevator doors tried to close but Paris pressed the button to keep them open.   
"We gotta go Tristan. Lots to explore" Paris excused herself and Rory  
"Oh okay then" Tristan looked at Rory, mouthing the words "Come visit me later"  
"Maybe" Rory mouthed back, stepping into the elevator  
"Cya round Tristan" Rory waved  
"By Paris, by Mary"  
Rory rolled her eyes as the elevator doors closed with herself and Paris inside.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BACK IN THE ROOM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Tails" Lorelai guessed when the coin was in the air. The pair looked down on it...  
"It's heads" Luke shouted "It's heads"  
Lorelai was suprised at his outburst. In fact Luke was suprising her more and more on this trip. He wasn't acting at all like himself.   
"Now you have to marry me" he jumped and yelled  
"Luke what's wrong with you?"   
"Nothing" Luke immediately stopped jumping and walked over to the bench. "Lets go get hitched" he said picking up his car keys and dragging Lorelai out the door.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AN: i am soooooooo sorry it took so long, Exams are a fatal thing. Anyway, next eppy Lorelai and Luke are gonna get married, but will Lorelai actually go through with it... hmmmmmmm... And will Rory risk her sanity and go back to Tristan's hotel room alone?????? And who else will turn up in Vegas????   
  
PS: thank you for all your great reviews, and thank you to airforcebrat529 for the idea ;-). 


	6. Tristan is what? U can't b serious i tho...

It breaks my heart to run over you in a bus but...  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing... well I own the chapel and the priest and the elevator and the dresses and the brochour and level 10... but thats about it...  
  
An: I'm sooooooooooo sorry 4 not updating in like 7 months. I'm still writing this story but i've had writers block and i've been doing other stories and other stuff. I hope u like this chapter and hopefully I'll post another one soon.  
  
Luke pulled into the chapel. He was grinning from ear to ear. Unusually happy for luke. Lorelai looked across from him, a teenie weenie bit worried about what she was about to do. She was about the marry luke. Luke went to the priest and wrote their names down while Lorelai grabbed a dress from the back and put it on. She was feeling very nerous.  
  
._(_[~*~*~]_)_.  
  
Rory pressed the button in the elevator. She was going to level 10 to see Tristan. She's dumped Paris in a casino where she was studying the probability of actually beating the house. She'd be there for a few more hours.   
  
Rory knocked on Tristan's door 12 times for no aparrent reason. She just felt like knocking 12 times. Within seconds of Rory finishing knocking 12 times Tristan opened the door.  
"Hey Mary. We need to talk"  
"It sounds serious Tristan"  
"It is. Come in"  
Rory walked into the room and they both sat on the couch together.  
"What's so important?"  
"Well...um... you know that kiss at the party ages and ages ago"  
"Yeah" Rory licked her lips as she remembered that kiss.  
"Well... I hate to tell you this but i'm... i'm"  
"Your what? Hurry up Tristan i'm getting bored"  
"I'm pregnant"  
Rory's jaw dropped. "Your pregnant? but we were so careful"  
"I know. But i'm pregnant. I've already decided to keep it. And i'm leaving military school and going to raise it at home. I just thought I should tell you that you're going to be a mother"  
"This is big Tristan"  
"I know that"  
Rory thought for a minute. "I think we should do the right thing"  
"What's that"  
"Tristan"  
"Yeah Rory"  
Rory got down on one knee before Tristan  
"Will you marry me, Tristan?"  
Tristan was shocked but pleased. He immediately said yes, they kissed and jumped in his car, picked up Paris to be their witness and headed to the chapel.  
  
._(_[~*~*~]_)_.  
  
Emily and Richard hopped out of the car and looked around.   
"Oh Richard. This is a wonderful place to renew our wedding vows. It's so colourful"  
"Yes Emily. It looks just like the brochour. Now all we have to do is sign our names in and you can pick a dress"  
"Perfect"  
Emily and Richard walked towards the door.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.  
  
An: Well... next episode... as you can probably tell everyone is meeting at he chapel. And something is wrong with Luke. He's not quite as he seems. Hmmmmmmm... I'm sorry for not updating for like 6 months but I've been working on my webpages and stuff. Anyway, cya next episode. 


	7. Luke gets a makeover and Lorelai imagine...

It breaks my heart to run over you in a bus but...  
  
CHAPTER 7  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters but it would be appreciated if this storyline (which I do own) was not taken by random people (meaning u) and used for personal pleasure with the exception of reading. Ask me if u wanna steal something... plz :-).   
  
"Do you, Lorelai Gilmore, take this man to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"  
  
Lorelai faltered slightly. She had promised to marry Luke but something was stopping her, oh yeah, her concience. Luke tapped his foot impatiently.  
  
"hurry up Lorelai, I have to get back and fix my 'Hay there' skin care line."  
  
Lorelai was so deep in thought she didn't hear a word but she was pulled out of her day-dream quickly when she heard her mother's voice.  
  
"Now we can put the photographer over there, and the fake guests in the front three rows. This is going to be magnificant don't you think Richard?"  
  
"Yes emily" came the reply.  
  
Lorelai looked up and came face to face with her mother. Twenty minutes later, when Lorelai came to, Luke had filled her parents in on their plan to get married. And Emily was so very pleased.   
  
"Congratulations Lorelai, finally you've met someone who loves you and wants to marry you, and this chapel is so adorable isn't it?"  
  
"Yes mum" Lorelai gulped but then was hit with a question "Mum, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh, your father and I were just going to renew our wedding vows, and hopefully win some money while we're here"  
  
"Wow mum, doesn't seem like your kinda place"  
  
"Of course this is my kind of place, this is the exact place you were concieved"  
  
"ahhhhhh..." Lorelai shreaked "way too grafic for two hours before bed"  
  
"Oh do grow up Lorelai" scoulded her father "you of all people should not be 'grossed out' by thinking about your parents having sex"  
  
"ahhhhhh..." Lorelai shreaked again "what is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Nothing Lorelai, I was just stating that you should be comfortable with us perhaps having intercourse once and a while" he continued  
  
"Well, not really once and a while Richard" Emily joined in "more like four times a day"  
  
At this point in the conversation Luke fainted and Rory and Tristan with Paris in tow walked into the chapel  
  
"Mum?" Rory started  
  
"Rory?" Mum started  
  
"What are you doing here"  
  
"Getting married to Luke. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Getting married to Tristan"  
  
"Yuck"  
  
"Yuck"  
  
Anyway... just to move the story along Luke wakes up and him and Lorelai continue to say their wedding vows with everyone watching  
  
"Do you Lorelai take this man to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asked the Priest  
  
"Wait!" Rory called out across the church  
  
Everyone looked at her and is confused  
  
"That's not Luke!" she screamed. Rory ran up to Luke/the man and grabbed his face, pulling off his Luke mask.  
  
"Kirk?" Lorelai screamed and then fainted  
  
Anyway... just to move the story along Kirk gets sent to jail because he's been a bad boy and they find Luke locked in the boot of the car they've been driving around in. Emily and Richard renew their vows in front of everybody and there is much rejoicing, then they go back to Hartford and won't come back into the story intil I need them again. Rory and Tristan decide not to get married because Tristan magically morphs into Jess and is not pregnant.  
  
AN: Well... it's only taken me over a year to write more of this story... hope you like... there's more to come I promise... I might make Lane magically appear... ooooo... I just had a great idea... back to the writing... cya... 


	8. Is this story real? Or am i on crack?

It breaks my heart to run over you in a bus but... I'm gonna do it anyway!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Literally nothing. Except the farm out west. The Rory's sword.  
  
Lorelai, Luke, Jess, Rory and Paris are sitting in the hotel drinking hot coco as we will continue.   
  
"So, Jess" Paris started "What do you think about the Russian Revolution, was it a bummer or what?"  
  
"What" Jess replied sarcastically  
  
Paris sent half a death glare across the table at him. Jess screamed like a girl and toppled backwards off his chair onto the floor, clutching his heart in pain.  
  
"Paris" Lorelai scoulded "Please refrain from trying to kill people at the table"  
  
Paris looked at her shoelaces. "Sorry" she mumbled.   
  
A long silence followed, no one really wanting to be the first one to talk.  
  
Suddenly, after about 20 minutes of nothingness Rory jumped up on the table and drew her sword, she ran around the room frantically slashing the air in a sudden burst of energy.After satisfying this she sat down in her seat again.  
  
"Rory?" Luck asked "What were you doing?" a bermused expression licking his facial features  
  
"I was killing the silence" she replied sweetly  
  
Lorelai looked around at all the random letters lying broken and bruised on the ground. She spelt them out slowly.  
  
"S. I. L. E. N. C. E"  
  
"Good Job Rory" Luke said, patting her head like a little puppy dog.  
  
Lorelai looked down at him "Luke! Stop treating my daughter like your little bitch"  
  
Luke just looked back apologetically "Lorelai, we have something to tell you..." he began  
  
"Luke and I have been sleeping together for two years" Rory finished.  
  
Lorelai was stunned. So were Jess and Paris who had been listening intently.   
  
"Bu... wha... how... whe... whuddaumean?" Lorelai mumbled  
  
Rory and Luke stood next to each other.   
  
"We're in love" they said in unison   
  
"And... and... Rory's pregnant" Luke continued.  
  
Lorelai was flabberghasted. She was stunned. Confounded. Confused. Utterly suprised.   
  
"And we're going to live on a farm out in the west" Rory added  
  
With all the sudden news Lorelai, Jess and Paris found it very hard to compute everything. Suddenly, all three of the had a heart attack.  
  
AN: Well... sorry... i've totally weirded out the story... I wonder if they're going to survive? And wasn't that an unlikely turn of events. Who would have thought Luke and Rory were an item. Amazing. Plz Review!!! 


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